Clothes make the man…

… so if the clothing shows a disturbed sense of reality, what does that say about the wearer?

OK, I get it, England has got the gulf stream, so it’s never cold. Right? Except when November arrives and with it some nasty autumn weather. Or would you call maximum day temperatures of 4°C, in conjunction with some chilling winds, warm? Me neither.

So what does the sensible soul do to stay cosy? That’s right, where I come from, we dress warmly.

Not so the island monkeys. Well, quite a few of them anyway.

I have seen this countless times now, but I still doubt the information my optic nerves conduct to my brain every time I see someone wearing shorts and/or a short-sleeved shirt in weather like this! After the chill running down my spine has reached my coccyx and then calmed down a bit that is. This can’t be healthy!

I could probably work up some understanding if it would be some cyclist working up a sweat pedalling around our little town and its quite steep hills. But no, just a “normal” guy walking down the street with a severe scantiness of fabric on his body and not even particularly hairy arms and legs. Or that chick on her way home from last night’s party in nothing more than a skimpy top and a rather wide belt. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Do you know some Jedi mind trick to prevent yourself from feeling the frightfully freezing frostiness?

I can understand that you don’t want to expose your fair, freckled English skin to the fiery rays of summer sun. But please, don’t try to make up for it by getting into the nude as soon as summer is over.

But it would be only half bad if you wouldn’t try to train your children in your inappropriate dressing habits too! What did I see the other day? Kid in a buggy, and not only no blanket but also NO SOCKS despite temperatures well south of 15°C?! Is that really necessary?
Warmly dressed = happy (Image via Wikipedia)

Warmly dressed = happy (Image via Wikipedia)

Or this one here: Baby under 1 with no hair worth mentioning to keep the ears or even the scalp warm and of course no hat to protect him from an overcast, drizzly and wind-chilled 5°C impertinence of a day. I was going to call child protection services but my frozen fingers wouldn’t hit the right keys on my mobile! Seriously, that extra layer of blubber on your obese child is not an excuse for not putting adequate-for-the-weather clothes on him!

PS: I have little fights with my 2-year old all the time about literally everything. Except wearing a hat. Absolutely no objections there. He likes having warm ears!

11 thoughts on “Clothes make the man…

  1. That phenomenon of too-few-clothes in too-cold-weather happens here too. Growing up in a quite cold and very windy climate, I was initially astounded to see people wearing shorts in the winter. Even wearing long sleeves with shorts seemed odd to me. I’ve almost gotten used to it. Blamed it on those crazy southern Californians.

    But what annoys me is that I’ll bet these same people crank the heat up in their homes so that they can comfortably traipse all over the house in shorts and t-shirts. They’d turn into blocks of ice at my place, which my BF describes as a meat locker.

    • Welcome to my blog rangewriter and thanks for commenting! You’ve definitely got a point there. I know people like this and I have learnt to apply the onion principle when I visit them. What a waste of energy!
      I never run around in shorts and t-shirt in my house when it’s cold outside. Having said that, I still wouldn’t call my house a cool place (in both meanings) because I am a wimp when it comes to temperature. Hubby can’t wait for me to fall pregnant again because that was the only time I wasn’t ‘delighting’ him with my icy hands and feet when I climbed into bed next to him 😉

  2. Haha I felt the same way when I came over from Canada! Why on Earth do people refuse to wrap up warm when the weather gets cold?! Sometimes I look at people’s coats and think, “That’s not a winter coat!” Or I see girls walking around in little pumps! No no no, in winter you must wear SOCKS. I feel for you on this one haha!

    • Thanks Laura, I appreciate your compassion. You know, as far as I’m concerned they can run around in the snow in a hula skirt and nothing more, but I feel really bad for the poor kids. They have no way to defend themselves. Have you noticed the plummeting temperatures out there tonight? Well, about an hour ago I saw a little girl in her school uniform walk into ASDA with nothing under her skirt (other than assumingly her underwear) and those little pumps you are mentioning! I had to look the other way.

  3. I’ve seen the same thing both here in Idaho (northwest U.S.) and in Iowa (midwest U.S.) only mainly with kids in high school. I’ve watched them stand at the bus stop in shorts and rubber flip flops on their feet when it’s below freezing (usually in autumn when the temperature first dips…maybe they’re just hormonally slow to catch on to season shifts, I don’t know.) Drives me nuts though. I want to tackle them and first chew them out for being so stupid and then wrap a blanket around them.
    However I admit, I have yet to find a frozen teenager curled up on a sidewalk somewhere, so clearly they’re staying warm enough to at least survive.
    Great post, fun blog. Thanks for stopping by over at mine and good luck with all those island monkeys!

    • Hey Dia, how nice of you to pop in and comment, thanks a lot.
      Yeah, I haven’t seen any studies whether island monkeys are ill more often than us others but I doubt it. Maybe they have adjusted over evolutionary time, who knows. In any case, I am somewhat relieved to hear that people like this exist in other parts of the world as well. But then… are you sure they are not the offspring of English immigrants?

  4. We island monkeys cannot judge temperature. We see a blue sky and think “warm day – get the sun lotion” and we go out. It rains and we freeze our arses off.

    I like the idea that I’m an island monkey. Maybe that’s why I like bananas? 😉

    • I’m glad you like the term of endearment. I actually call my little monster a monkey as well. During my travels I was educated that you shouldn’t call the kids of latin Americans in L.A. that, even if you put the epithet ‘cute little’ in front. Huh, who knew 😉

  5. Pingback: Boys in tights « island monkeys

  6. Pingback: Snowpocalypse « island monkeys

  7. Pingback: Psst, don’t tell anyone. I actually like the island monkeys. Sometimes. « island monkeys

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s